CRYSTAL BALL- SHEER F*CKERY FROM HERE CARDSIGN GREETINGS

Ah yes, let me just gaze into my mystical crystal ball and see what the future holds... Oh. Oh no. It's chaos. It's nonsense. It's a whole lot of WTF coming your way. The spirits have spoken, and they're saying "buckle up, buttercup." It Looks Like Sheer F*ckery From Here 🔮✨

This brutally honest fortune-telling card is perfect for anyone navigating life's absolute circus—whether they're dealing with work drama, relationship shenanigans, family gatherings, the general dumpster fire that is modern existence, or the initiation of a bit of rowdy fun. Send it for birthdays, "good luck" (they'll need it), commiseration, or when someone asks you to predict how their questionable life choices will pan out.

What Makes This Prophetic Card Special:

• Aluminum construction - More durable than your faith in humanity. These cards outlast paper and your patience for people's nonsense
• Fully personalized - Add your own message on the back. Something like "The cards never lie" or "I tried to warn you" works beautifully
• Actually displayable - Comes with a magnet back or cardboard stand so they can keep this prophetic truth on their desk as a daily reminder that the universe has a twisted sense of humor
• Arrives in a card envelope - Gift-ready and mysterious. They'll think it's a regular card until—PLOT TWIST—it's a permanent fortune
• Upgrade available - Snag the metal card stand for maximum mystical aesthetic and desk presence

Handmade by Shittay Day Designs. Swear word will not be blurred on card received.