{"product_id":"if-i-ever-get-rabies-bitin-list-funny-tote-bag","title":"IF I EVER GET RABIES YOU ARE HIGH ON MY BITIN' LIST - HILARIOUS 100% COTTON CANVAS LARGE TOTE","description":"\u003cp class=\"_p_nvzmr_104\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe genius of plausible deniability.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"_p_nvzmr_104\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \"If I Ever Get Rabies\" cotton canvas tote perfectly captures the art of the conditional threat: looking innocent on the outside while maintaining a very specific list on the inside. Featuring a design that says \"I'm not saying I'm gonna bite you... I'm just saying you're ranked,\" this tote is for everyone who's ever held a grudge with an asterisk.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"_p_nvzmr_104\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhether you're grocery shopping while mentally updating The List, running errands after someone left you hanging on plans, or just carrying your stuff while plotting hypothetical revenge, this tote gets you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"_p_nvzmr_104\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpite with a footnote—it's called being prepared.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"_p_nvzmr_104\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy you'll love this passive-aggressive carry-all:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"_ul_nvzmr_140\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium\u003c\/strong\u003e pigment-dyed gusseted 100% cotton canvas—built to handle your conditional rage\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRoomy\u003c\/strong\u003e 14.75\" H x 19.5\" W x 5\" D size when fully expanded (14.75\" H x 14.75\" W x 5\" D non-expanded)—plenty of space for all your stuff and your ranked list of grievances\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLong 26\" handles\u003c\/strong\u003e for comfortable shoulder carrying while you maintain plausible deniability\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHilariously specific design\u003c\/strong\u003e—because what are they gonna do? Get mad? It's CONDITIONAL.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"_p_nvzmr_104\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandmade by Shittay Day Designs, Made in USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shittay Day Designs","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52485817958584,"sku":"SDD25-TOTE-8510-BITE","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0887\/6785\/6824\/files\/RabiesCottonTote.png?v=1768860192","url":"https:\/\/shittayday.com\/products\/if-i-ever-get-rabies-bitin-list-funny-tote-bag","provider":"Shittay Day Designs","version":"1.0","type":"link"}